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Factors in violence

Books & videos for those who are sometimes violent or angry & stressed

Factors in Violence video below explores some ideas about violence in individuals, and more widely as part of the society we live in, what we think and believe about violence and human nature:

What can be done to alter patterns of behaviour, how people can learn more about themselves and problems of violence and control.

People who act or react violently are not necessarily psychopathic or sociopathic, narcissistic or predatory. These are terms loosely used to imply that nothing can be done to help people to change. But they can be useful to help people understand if they are at risk from someone highly manipulative.

It is true that violent behaviour can escalate, so it is worth trying to get help, as well as seeing what else could be making the situation worse.

We need to learn all we can and not use terms or concepts inappropriately. It can encourage problems to spread unnecessarily, or let people think they cannot change, or be helped not to do things in a non-productive or dangerous way.

Do we want to do that to people? Are we not all capable of extreme behaviour in extreme circumstances, or where our feelings are overwhelming, even if we may not understand why?


The following is summarised from 'Beating Anger' by Mike Fisher - 'The Eight Golden Rules of Anger Management' page 219

1. Back off, stop, think, take a look at the big picture;
2. It's OK to have a different opinion;
3. Listen actively;
4. Use your emotional support network;
5. Keep an anger management journal;
6. Don't take things personally;
7. Let go of expectations;
8. Anger by appointment only, which helps the 'exploder' to contain, and the 'imploder' to assert themselves:
'When we speak in the heat of the moment, we are likely to be regressed, and what comes out of our mouths...
is often designed to hurt, maim, wound.'

From 'Beating Anger' - 'Expressing Anger Safely' page 195

Tune in to the primary source of your anger and clarify your wants, needs and position

Learn some simple key communication skills

Become the silent witness and disrupt counter-productive patterns of behaviour

Expect resistance to change and anticipate reactions from others

The reason for brief summaries and lists of books is to show CHANGES CAN BE MADE to behaviour -
We do not ALL have to believe that NOTHING can be changed!

Try to read something on the subject, see what you think, find what suits YOU best


'Going Postal: Rage, murder and rebellion in America' by Mark Ames
'Stalking and Psychosexual Obsession' ed by Julian Boon, Lorraine Sheridan

'Social Symptoms of Identity Needs: Why we have failed to solve our social problems' by Mark Bracher
'The Female Brain' by Louann Brizendine

'Spree Killers: Devastating massacres by unpredictable gunmen' by Nigel Cawthorne
'Halting the Sexual Predators Among us: Preventing attack, rape and lust homicide' by Duane Dobbert

'Understanding Personality Disorders' by Duane Dobbert
'Emotions and Beliefs: How feelings influence thoughts' ed by Nico H Frijda, Antony S R Manstead, Sacha Bem

'Profiling the Criminal Mind' by Robert Girod Sr
'Obsession' by John Douglas and Mark Olshaker

'Ceremonial Violence: Understanding Columbine and other school rampage shootings' by Jonathan Fast
'Violence: Reflections on a national epidemic' by James Gilligan

'Preventing Violence: Prospects for tomorrow by James Gilligan
'The Psychology of Stalking: Clinical and forensic perspectives' by J Reid Meloy

'Violent Attachments' by J Reid Meloy
'A Mind to Crime: The Controversial link between the mind and criminal behaviour' by Anne Moir and David Jessel

'Brainsex: Real difference between men and women' by Anne Moir and David Jessel
'Lectures on Violence, Perversion and Delinquency' ed by David Morgan and Stanley Ruszczynski

'Psychoanalytic Understanding of Violence and Suicide' ed by Rosine Joze Perelberg
'Why They Kill: The discoveries of a maverick criminologist' by Richard Rhodes

'Intimate Violence: Attacks upon psychic interiority'' by Joseph Scalia
'Adam's Curse' by Bryan Sykes

'Crazy Like Us: The globalization of the American Psyche' by Ethan Watters'
'Cruelty, Violence, and Murder' by Arthur Hyatt Williams

'A History of British Serial Killing' by David Wilson
'Women, Men and Rape' by Ray Wyre and Anthony Swift


'Beating Anger': Where your anger comes from, How to recognise your type of anger, the four key triggers of anger' by Mike Fisher - 'Some people can't control their anger, other people can't begin to express it.' Evening Standard

'Managing Anger' by Gael Lindenfield

'Releasing Anger' by Liz Adamson


'Teach Yourself: Managing Stress' by Terry Looker & Olga Gregson

'Stress Management 10 Minute Guide' by Jeff Davidson

'Thrive on Stress' by Jan Sutton

'Living with Stress' by Cary L Cooper, Rachel D Cooper, Lynn M Baker

'Stress, Cognition & Health' by Tony Cassidy

'Parents Who Kill' by Carole Anne Davis - includes Resources to help parents understand


'Coping with Life's Traumas' by Gladeana McMahon

'Post Trauma Stress - a Personal Guide for dealing with and recovering from post-trauma stress' by Frank Parkinson


Survivorway channel videos leading to information for Survivors of various kinds

Bullying, Domestic violence, Coercion;
Child abuse, Abuse survivors; Sadistic abuse;
Homelessness, Missing from Home;
Con-tricks, Scams, Getting set-up or hustled; 'The Real Hustle';
Consumer information, BBC Watchdog, Rogue Traders;
Ageing, Alzheimer's; Mental health, MIND; Samaritans;
Citizens' Advice Bureaux, Advice;
Miscarriages of Justice; Liberty: Human rights, Civil liberties;
Your Rights & Liberties - versions for young people & older people;
Safety online & off; Safety tips for meeting up with someone - Phone a Friend!
Boundaries in therapy; Double standards or double binds?

TANSAL Abuse & Rights

Domestic Violence, Stalking, Harassment, Bullying, Coercive Relationships
Scapegoating, Dissing, Abuse

'DOC MATRIX' website at

How we get labelled with things that are not appropriate, and other ways we are pressured or influenced, even feeling we have to leave or go missing. Helplinks at

Ostracism can cause a real Pain!

Is it really worth it?

Whether it gets called ostracism, rejection, dissing or whatever, the effects of silent treatment can be hard to take.

Click for ' Why rejection hurts: a common neural alarm system for physical and social pain' by Naomi Eisenberger and Matthew Lieberman

Ostracism: The Cruel Power of Silence, an All in the Mind radio interview

Kipling Williams has researched ostracism and its effects, and you can search on Google or any search engine for details on his work. Some books he has authored are available from Amazon:

'The Social Outcast: Ostracism, Social Exclusion, Rejection, and Bullying' by Kipling D. Williams, Joseph P. Forgas, William Von Hippel

'Ostracism: The Power of Silence' by Kipling D. Williams

Also see: 'Don't Take It Personally: The Art of Dealing with Rejection' by Elayne Savage

Amazon often have second-hand books which are much cheaper!
You can read up about books and authors without having to buy anything

Scapegoating and ostracism have similarities: Someone or some people can get blamed or ignored
- as if they did something wrong, or there's something different about them

Actually it can happen to anyone, and for no particular reason
It can be quite hard to change the pattern. Get some support if you can, and read up on it for yourself